Thursday, December 29, 2011

Dear Santa

 Dear Santa,

Correct me if I'm mistaken but I thought we had a deal. I would stop pushing my pro-fanny pack agenda on the world and you would grant me my one and only Christmas wish, to make the Kardashians go away. I know, I know world peace seems like a more appropriate "one and only wish" but if you study World Peace it is impossible to achieve as long as the Kardashians are around. So if you really want to split hairs, in a round about way I did wish for World Peace.....geez, get off my back. But I digress.

I'll be honest, I was hopeful that my Christmas wish was going to be granted. The first promising sign was when Kim and Kris broke up. There was back lash and a lot of angry fans who felt betrayed and I sat back and smiled inside. So I gathered up a group of my closest friends (OK, friend) and we headed down to the nearest Sears where we were going to celebrate the Kardashian demise by dancing on Kourtney's Cheetah print pant suit and Kloe's Gold Silk Mini Skirt which I was sure would be thrown into the street and lit on fire as a sign of protest for all things Kardashian. But what did I find.....NEW INVENTORY! DAGGERS!

So I waited. And waited. And waited for another sign that the Karshanians would be going away and my Christmas wish would be granted. And then it came.....sort the form of a Lamar Odom trade to Dallas. OK, so at least LA would be less 2 Kardashians, but Dallas is not that far away, I was hoping for maybe Europe or the Lifetime Channel. I don't mean to complain, Santa, but this is kind of half-ass. I mean, in my opinion Kloe is one of the more likeable of the Kardashians, next to Kourtney's unborn baby. If they spin this off into a Kadarshian Dallas series, which they Kris Jenner will, I may be forced to unfollow them on Twitter in a last ditch effort and a final heroic stand against all things Kardashian.

And then finally, Santa, your last effort came. Now I am slightly impressed by this one but this is not really a long term fix. You with all your Santa Powers, had Kris Humphries booed at a basketball game by 20,000 rabid Kim Kardashian/Knicks fans. Sure this does prove that there are a lot of Kardashian fans who will go to great lengths, or at least buy Knicks v Nets tickets, in a show of solidarity and support of Kim who was betrayed by love. But this could also prove that you should stay away from Kim Kardashian less you enjoy being booed by 20,000 New Yorkers. Granted in this method it would take a long time to turn everyone against the Kardashians, as this would have to be done one person/marriage at a time and in 72 day increments. 

In conclusion, Santa, although efforts were made on your part, I don't see 2012 becoming Kardashian free and for that matter, there will also be no World Peace. How do you live with yourself?


The Kardashian 2011 Christmas Card: They make it impossible not to hate them.

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