Monday, December 27, 2010

McNuggets and Jesus

While driving cross country we stopped at a McDonalds (or McCafe) in a small town in New Mexico for one of their gourmet coffee drinks. They had a sign out front with this advertisement, "50 McNuggets for $10.99-Sunday Only!". I am by no means a marketing expert, but from a consumers point of view this works on so many levels. Here's why.

*Where else can you get 1/8 oz of meat for $0.22. This screams bargain.

*They did not break the dollar mark thereby making the promotion feel very affordable.  For Example:

Example #1) 50 McNuggets for $10.99? Yes, please and can I get small diet coke with that?
Example #2) 50 McNuggets for $11.00? No thanks, I would like to pay my mortgage this month.

Feel the difference?

*By making this available only on Sundays they have subliminally  tried to associate this promotion with all things holy. "WWJD?" Well, according to the state of New Mexico and McDonalds, he would order 50 McNuggets for $10.99, they think you should too.

In conclusion, I would like to thank the McCafe for this value driven promotion. But a special thank you goes to the kind employee behind the counter, who after 3 tries, got that Mocha No Whip right!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Reindeer Cars

As the first stretch of our cross country trip (California to Iowa) comes to end after only 4 days, I have discovered a few things about myself and America.

*Saving money on getting the stereo in the car fixed seemed like a good idea until we were 7 miles into our trip.

*Sometimes questions aren't questions. For example, "Do you want to pull over and get gas?" actually meant "you better pull over and get gas since we are in the dessert and the next gas station is God knows where and unless you plan on pushing the truck to the next gas station I would get gas now". Another example, "Are you meaning to drive 90 mph?" actually meant "if you don't slow down you will kill us all and ruin Christmas".

*The rest stops in Texas, New Mexico, and Oklahoma are really nice and clean. (this is true) If you want to guarantee you see all of them, travel with your dog.

*The reindeer cars species is not just indigenous to my neighborhood, but can be found in many states in the Southwest.

Thank-you America!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Fashion at the DMV

With my new found free time (unemployment) Brock, Goose and I have decided a cross country road trip would be fun. First stop, the DMV, as Brock had lost his VA driver's license and the cross country road trip seemed  a lot less "fun" when you have to drive all 3000 miles by yourself.  Since I had nothing better to do I went along to keep him company. While sitting in the DMV I noticed several fashion trends that are worth sharing.

1. Want to fancy up your sweatpants? Pair them with a blazer!
2. There are only two sizes of clothing: "Too big for your body " and "Too small for your body".
3. Shirts that cover your stomach/belly are so 2009 (see trend #2). This look goes best with my favorite accessory, " A healthy dose of self confidence".
4. Want the comfort of your sandals on a cool December morning? Put on your socks before you put on your sandals! (I love the feel of this trend as I wear this, I'm not joking)
5. The timeless accessory of "anger"...although this may have had more to do with the DMV than fashion, Brock certainly wore it well that day.

So after 3 hours at the DMV, Brock walked away with Driver's Permit in the form of a paper certificate since he had nothing to prove he actually ever had a driver's license in VA and I walked with my new look for 2011!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Max Power

Imagine my BFs (I know, I know, but I have to use the initials until the end of this post) excitement when I told him that he would not only be able to hear me tell stories about him to friends and family but also read it in print on my blog. Once he calmed down from the excitement I asked him if he wanted me to use his real name or a made up one. He thought a made up one would be is what he gave me to chose from.

1. Remington Hawk
2. Remington Caufield (he pulled this from the short list as it "sounded too much like a drugstore owner")
3. Jim (prounounced Gym) Density
4. Troy Magnumsom
5. Tork Steele
6. A. Brockholst Livingston Jr.
7. Cherokee Appleseed (he liked the ethnic sound this had)

I decided to go with #6 and shorten it to Brock.

Not be left out, my yellow lab Goose gave me a short list of made up names for himself for my consideration.

1. Maverick
2. Jim Density (he felt this was not species specific)
3. Garfield
4. C. Everett Poop (as he is a big advocate of health and pooping)

In the end we decided to go with his real name, Brock and Goose it is!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

I Quit

Today was the last day at my job. Why would anyone in this economy walk away from a good  job... you (and my relatives) may ask?  I have spent the last 18 years in the restaurant business and although I won't divulge the real reason I quit my most recent restaurant job,  below are some possible reasons for my departure:

Example #1) Was it the time I had to teach an employee how to sweep the floor? No, I didn't have teach someone how to sweep the floor better or sweep the floor more efficiently. I had to teach someone how to hold a broom, how to use the broom in a sweeping motion (after I explained what a sweeping motion was), and how that sweeping motion would magically make the floor cleaner. (Don't get me started on the 2 day dust pan seminar I conducted)

Example #2) Could it have been the following conversation that took place at the beginning of a shift between myself and an employee who had painted their a Cat?
Me: "I see you have your face painted "
Employee:  "Yes, I'm a Kitty"
Me: "You know today is not Halloween"
Employee: "I know........(pause)........Meow"

Example #3) Or was it that Friday night that Jesus walked through the restaurant? Now I'm pretty sure it wasn't the real Jesus but someone who thinks he is Jesus. Either way, he took one look at the place and we have never seen him since.

I need a vacation from being me.