I Quit

Today was the last day at my job. Why would anyone in this economy walk away from a good  job... you (and my relatives) may ask?  I have spent the last 18 years in the restaurant business and although I won't divulge the real reason I quit my most recent restaurant job,  below are some possible reasons for my departure:

Example #1) Was it the time I had to teach an employee how to sweep the floor? No, I didn't have teach someone how to sweep the floor better or sweep the floor more efficiently. I had to teach someone how to hold a broom, how to use the broom in a sweeping motion (after I explained what a sweeping motion was), and how that sweeping motion would magically make the floor cleaner. (Don't get me started on the 2 day dust pan seminar I conducted)

Example #2) Could it have been the following conversation that took place at the beginning of a shift between myself and an employee who had painted their face....like a Cat?
Me: "I see you have your face painted "
Employee:  "Yes, I'm a Kitty"
Me: "You know today is not Halloween"
Employee: "I know........(pause)........Meow"

Example #3) Or was it that Friday night that Jesus walked through the restaurant? Now I'm pretty sure it wasn't the real Jesus but someone who thinks he is Jesus. Either way, he took one look at the place and we have never seen him since.

I need a vacation from being me.