|My donations paid for this building.|
Dear University of Iowa Alumni Association,
This is long over due but I am writing to thank-you. Why, you may ask? Many reasons.
First, a big thank you for always being the first to welcome me to a new residence. Since I left Iowa City, I have moved 8 times. I'm not sure how you do it but you are always the first piece of mail I receive at my new home. No matter where I go or how many times I move you, there you are with your newsletter waiting my arrival. Now that I think about it, how do you do it? I mean, I'm not updating my address with you.....you are not contacting me via email.....actually, this is kind of creepy if you think about it.
Secondly, thank you for your nightly phone calls. I apologize I am not answering them, but I know its you checking up on me. Here's the deal, that last newsletter that went out was a plea for all alumni to donate money and a heads up that you would be reaching out to us via phone. Not that I don't want to talk, its just that I have no money to donate to you and I thought after a few weeks of unanswered phone calls you would understand that. But kudos to you and your Midwestern persistence, because we care currently going on 9 weeks worth of unanswered phone calls. Just so you know, I won't be answering until I have money to donate and with my current lack of income that may be awhile. On another note, how did you get my cell number?
And finally, a heart felt thank-you for all the Department Newsletters and the Alumni Magazine I receive from you each month. I'm not sure what I enjoy more, the all the Sociological Research that is going on in my field or the "Where Are They Now" section in the Alumni Magazine that features graduates with impressive resumes. In my defense and not to toot my own horn, but the research I have been involved in since graduation has been pretty impressive. For example, I discovered the combination of Funyons (even when tested with a placebo) and Dr. Pepper creates a large amount of intestinal pain. Also, my work in the area of sun exposure is world renown, scientist are still baffled by ability to be exposed to the sun but yet stay the palest shade of white. I realize these are still controversial findings and probably not something you would not want to showcase in the "Where Are They Now" section, but that doesn't stop from enjoying all the success my former classmates have had in conventional, all be it boring, fields. I can hardly wait until the November Issue to find out if another former Hawkeye has been promoted to VP of Bank! Fingers crossed!
Hats of to you, UI Alumni Association for staying in contact and refusing to give up on me! And God willing, your reward one day will be that $15 donation that you have spent over 240 hours trying to secure.