Friday, June 10, 2011

Oh, Weiner

This is Rep. Weiner's actual Twitter profile picture, I find this equally as offensive.

 As far as I can see, Democratic Rep. Anthony Weiner had two major missteps in this entire scandal. One, he used Twitter incorrectly and made his sexy photo public. Two, he has the misfortune of having the worst possible last name for this type of scandal. I guess the only good thing about his name is that his first name isn't Dick. But here is where I sympathize with Rep. Weiner, like Weiner I have told fibs to prevent myself from embarrassment. Now granted, nothing comes  close to sending foxy pictures of myself to my Internet "friends" while representing the state of New York. They are however embarrassing.

Last month I did a cleanse and went grocery shopping a day after the cleanse ended. One of my purchases was a bag of Lays BBQ Potato Chips. I got home at 5pm and by 6:15pm I had eaten about 3/4 of the bag. When I realized this, I quickly put it away (in the back of cupboard) because as you know it is only disgusting if you eat the entire bag. When Brock got home he asked if I had purchased and eaten most of the bag of potato chips. I quickly said "No, those have been in there for weeks". Later when I got up from the couch and had a potato chip crumb outline of my body, I confessed.

Serving Size: 1

When I get on the treadmill or stair climber at the gym it asks for my weight. Although I don't weigh myself very often I do have a fairly good idea of what I weigh....and it is at least 5lbs more than what I type into the treadmill. But as I run/climb I can't take the pressure of the treadmill staring at me and mocking me with inaccurate "calories burned". I usually stop it and reset it. Don't judge me.

Ok, 119lbs looks about right

Work Professional: Do you floss regularly/change your contacts bi-weekly/contribute to your 401k/change your oil every 3k-5k miles/change your filters every season/conduct self exams?
Me: Of course I do
Work Professional: Based on my finding you appear to be lying.
Me: Can you repeat the question?

Plaque and tartar free!

Misspellings: Stair climber, professional
Correct Spellings: BBQ, Chips, Potato 

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