The Scone Report #3: Celebrity Sightings and Skinny Days

The Scone Report tackles issues in the news or in my life that evoke any sort of strong emotion. This week with the all the bad in the world: the ending of the "Bachelor", the beginning of "Dancing with the Stars", high gas prices, a higher Charlie Sheen.... just to name a few, I have decided to focus on only things that amused me.

Skinny Days:

This week I had 2 straight skinny days. You know, those days where your stomach is flatter than normal and your clothes fit a little looser. To celebrate my skinny days I had a French Toast Muffin (Thank you, Costco) and skipped the gym. My streak ended at 2 days.

Oh french toast muffin, you delicious temptress



Iowans are Good Looking:

Former Iowa State football player and Fort Dodge, Iowa native, Kurtis Taylor, is the new face of the Ken doll after competing and winning in several "Bachelor Style" challenges. For those of you who don't know an Iowan up close and personal this may come as a shock to you. For those of you who do know me then you know that Iowans are good looking, bright and thin for at least 2 days in a row.

Kurtis Taylor, just another good looking Iowan

Offensive Word Verification:

Please, please, please tell me this is the new thing in word verifications, each time you have to use this security measure a mildly offensive word comes up. Well played, Map Quest, well played......

Got "pooping" right in one try

Celebrity Sightings:

My sister can spot any celebrity anywhere (another talent that Iowans possess) and this is who she spotted in a 3 day span on her visit to Los Angeles:

Jenna Elfman, "Dharma and Greg"-at The Grove

Dave Navarro, "Jane's Addiction"-at the Starbucks on Robertson and Beverly (wearing eyeliner)

Dax Shepard, "Punkd", "Parenthood"-at the Starbucks on Robertson and Beverly (wearing a hoodie)

Debbie Allen, "Fame"-on Venice Beach

Lous van Amstel-"Dancing with the Stars"-at Burbank Airport



Dax Shepard....not an Iowan



Not to be out done, Brock had a sighting:

Dave Grohl-"Nirvana", "Foo Fighters"-at 7-11 in a Honda mini van



Brock Found a Friend/s:

Me: (phone rings) Hello

Brock: (no salutation) I find I have a real connection with the grocery store workers. I think I really like them.

Me: I thought you didn't like anyone?

Brock: That's true....... except for the grocery store workers........and Goose.....and Dave Grohl.......oh, and you.

Enthusiastic Dance Moves

For those of you who know me,  know that I don't see a lot of movies and "Take Me Home Tonight" was no exception. I came closer to seeing this movie that most. This however, will not stop me from reviewing the movie.

"Take Me Home Tonight" has two things that every movie should have.

1. An 80's storyline

2. An 80's theme song that reminds me of the 80's: Take Me Home Tonight by Eddie Money

Based on these two facts I would recommend this movie. Sure, I could blabber on and on about the acting and the screen play but what I think you really want to see is Brock dancing to the theme song. His enthusiasm, confidence and questionable dance moves to the theme song are recommendation enough.

For those of you who know Brock, these moves are familiar to you. They have cleared the dance floor at your wedding while bringing unwanted attention to his dance partner (you can almost see the embarrassment on Goose face). For those of you who have never seen Brock dance, sit back and enjoy.

(It's not as clear as I'd like but he does want the ability to dispute that it is actually him)

Dance, don't walk, to a theatre near you!

The Man Cold

Brock has been sick for 3 weeks and after ruling out the Man Cold (see video above) it was time to visit Urgent Care. I liked it there because there was no one else waiting and they had tons a magazines. As I was enjoying my Glamour Magazine the nurse summoned me to come in and speak to the doctor. It went like this:

Doctor (short, bald, belly like a bowl full of jelly): Are you Mr. Brock's wife?
Me: Yes (wasn't in the mood to explain the relationship however, ironically, the article I was reading in Glamour was "Defining your Relationship")
Doctor: He is VEDY, VEDY, VEDY sick! (speaking vedy loudly and somewhat accusatory in a vedy thick middle eastern accent)
Me: Yes, I know
Doctor: Do you know the Chicken Breast?
Me: Yes, yes, I know the Chicken Breast.
Doctor: Do you know the Cilantro?
Me: Yes! Yes! I know the Cilantro!
Doctor: You must...You must make Mr. Brock soup! He MUST drink that soup! He Must!
Me: Ok, I will make him soup which he must drink!
Doctor: (handing me a prescription with four medicines on it for his bronchitis and speaking very softly now) Miss Julie, go, go quickly to the pharmacy and get these medicines BUT if Mr. Brock drinks the soup you make him he will not need the medicines.
Me: (hesitant and slightly confused) OK, soup is better than all the antibiotics.....for bronchitis?
Doctor: Yes, (and then quietly and quickly adds) he also should not drink juice, soda, water, or coffee, just hot tea.
Me: (quickly panning the  room for medical diploma) Ok, no water?  Just hot tea and soup that I make? Got it!

Needless to say I did make the soup, we purchased 1 of the 4 medicines that he prescribed, although not 100% Brock feels much better and I have a follow up appointment with the doctor to explain how I could have let this happen to Mr. Brock.

Not the actual soup I made

Rage and Hanger

A few weeks ago Brock and I decided that we were going to tackle some demo work around the house. Specifically, we were going to tear down the super size deck that was in our back yard. Just as Elisabeth Kubler-Ross discovered the 5 Stages of Grief, I discovered the 5 Stages of Demolition with a Loved One. My degree from the University of Iowa is in sociology, which by the way is the first time I have EVER name dropped that fact.

The 5 Stage of Home Demolition with a Loved One

Delusional Thoughts and/or Lunacy: This usually takes place at the beginning of the day in the form of thoughts such as: This should only take 3-4 hours. We definitely have enough tools to get this job done. That's cute that you don't know how to use a hammer and/or any other tool we will be using.

Hanger: This is where you are so hungry you are angry, however, in our case this is where you are so angry you become hungry. The anger part comes from thoughts such as, "Why is the person who doesn't know how to hold a hammer so bossy".  In my defense, project management and keeping people on task is an important part of any demo. We were hangry a lot and took several of snack breaks.

The elusive trash bin of Los Angeles

Rage: This usually appears between the 5th and 6th trip to Home Depot.

Paranoia: The comes in 2 forms. The first is "Noise Paranoia" which is where you are constantly worried that your neighbors will complain about all the noise you are making. This generally subsides after 8am. Secondly, is "Trash Bin Paranoia". This is paranoia that the trash bin that you rented will be used by all your neighbors to dump their trash in because finding an open bin to throw your trash in in Los Angeles is as exciting as spotting a unicorn.

The equally elusive unicorn of Los Angeles

Memory Loss/Dementia: The onset of this is usually about 24-48 hours after your demo project is completed and enables you to start planning your next home improvement project.

I think its obvious that I have taken social sciences by storm with my new theory and in the process have made the University of Iowa very proud.