Royal Mocha

As a rule, I get most of my hard hitting news from US Weekly. They rarely disappoint and this week was no exception. In this week's edition they ran a small story (on page 14, none the less) on Pippa Middleton and her tan. As I have lamented in a previous post, I don't have space in my heart to care about Pippa Middleton, who is very lovely, but US Weekly keeps shoving her down our throats.

The article stated that in poll by UK's reallytv.com, Pippa's skin tone won most desirable tan and was named Royal Mocha. Her skin tone has been dubbed the "Middletan" (get it?) and she and Kate have been credited with boosting self-tanner sales by 200%. Seriously, how pale were the British before this boost in self-tanners and secondly, how bored are the British that they are giving nicknames to skin tones? Well, move over, Royal Mocha, my skin tone is also often referred to by other names.

Royal Mocha

Alternate Names for My Tan

Midwestern Snowflake

Vieny
Irish Oatmeal

Ginger Scorned

Clear

Anti-Royal Mocha
Middle"unable to"tan

Albino-ish

Lily of the San Fernando Valley
Powder
Freckles McPasty

Although none of these skin tones have actually been picked up any of the self tanners, it is just a matter of time before you won't have to waste time indoors to get my skin tone, soon you will be able to enjoy the outdoors and still maintain that pale glow.

Before on the right, After on the left