Pictures of the Week

The Scone Report

5 confusing and disturbing images I came across this week.

**No research or fact checking was done before posting this, not because I was too busy but because I was too lazy.

The Corn Dog

 Michelle Bachmann, was in Iowa this week for the Straw Poll. While there, she attended the Iowa State Fair and had the good fortune of eating a corn dog, however, had the bad fortune of having this unflattering picture taken.

I don't know about you, but I'm hoping that corn dog gets the Republican nomination.

Corn dog with some lady.

Prince Chupa

Hospital workers in Prince Georges County, forced to smoke outside, started seeing a dog-rat-deer like animal in the woods next to the hospital. Thinking this may be the elusive Chupacabra, the resourceful hospital employees, decided they would trap Prince Chupa (a variation of Chupacabra and Price George's County). Armed with Chinese food, a trap and what one can only assume is an 8th grade education they actually trapped the Prince only to release him as they didn't know what to do with him.

After studying photos and a short video, experts came to 2 conclusions, 1) it was most like a fox with mange and 2) the wrong species was trapped that day.

Really?  You fell for the "Chinese food in a trap" trick?



The Kardashian Kollection

The Kardashian clothing line now available at Sears. That is all.

Kollection with a "K"? Hate it.

The Fitchuation

In what I can only assume is a huge publicity stunt, Ambercrombie and Fitch has asked the Situation not wear any of their clothing. Going so far as to pay him to not wear their clothing.

If he actually gets paid for this, this opens up a lot of doors for me.

What I won't wear in exchange for money: The Kardashian Kollection (actually I will do this one for free).

Men of America, this is what a douche bag looks like!

A Letter to Me

Dear 60-Year-Old Me,

This is not an attractive look. I'm serious.

Sincerely,

A Younger Me

If the hair color was red, this would look good, no?

Stick It

Me in about 18-24 months

Enjoy this blog while you can as I am about to become a Restaurant Mogul and as you know rich people's thoughts and stories aren't that entertaining. Inspired by the beloved Iowa State Fair, I have a cutting edge idea that I can't believe no one has thought of yet.
It has become evident to me, despite what Top Chef and the Food Network are trying to tell us, people's taste are really not that complex. Based on a week of intensive research, which basically is me on my computer eating potato chips and looking at various Midwestern State Fair websites, I have discovered what America wants. America wants food on a stick. Thus I present you my restaurant idea.

The Name: "Stick It"

This works on so many levels. First and foremost, it will be food on a stick. But the genius behind this is that for anyone who has ever spent any amount of time working in a restaurant  has wanted to use that phase when dealing with customers, vendors, co-workers, bosses, etc. Imagine the pure delight in your voice every time the phone rings and you get to say, "Good Afternoon, Stick It". Or when you are responding to complaint letter you could sign off with "Sincerely, Stick-It".

Seriously, who is the brainiac behind these ideas

Atmosphere

Music: Styxx (duh) and Decor: Classy State Fair

The Menu

Nothing is off limits and I will be stealing most of my menu ideas from Midwestern Fairs. For example, the Iowa State Fair alone is offering 53 items served on a stick. Some of my personal favorites are the Cornbrat (corn dog made with a Bratwurst), the Octodog (a octopus shaped hot dog) and Rock Candy on a stick.

"Spooky on a stick" is more like it

Beverages
Popsicles. For water service at the table, ice cubes on a stick.

The Profits

In the restaurant business your two biggest costs are Labor and Food Cost. With "Stick Its" menu, I think I can successfully avoid the pit falls that most restaurants encounter when they design their menu around high quality expensive food. People eat anything (even re-purposed food) if it is on a stick. That is how you offer profit friendly foods. Case in point, Fried Butter on a Stick at the Iowa State Fair.

Pre-fried butter, a gluten free option?

 

But here is where my empire really takes off, we all know that the profits are in the alcohol. I present you my beverages on stick themed nightclub, called "Suck It".  Be warned, once this takes off...... and it will, if I see you on the street I will act like I don't know you.......I will be that important.