Stick It

Me in about 18-24 months

Enjoy this blog while you can as I am about to become a Restaurant Mogul and as you know rich people's thoughts and stories aren't that entertaining. Inspired by the beloved Iowa State Fair, I have a cutting edge idea that I can't believe no one has thought of yet.
It has become evident to me, despite what Top Chef and the Food Network are trying to tell us, people's taste are really not that complex. Based on a week of intensive research, which basically is me on my computer eating potato chips and looking at various Midwestern State Fair websites, I have discovered what America wants. America wants food on a stick. Thus I present you my restaurant idea.

The Name: "Stick It"

This works on so many levels. First and foremost, it will be food on a stick. But the genius behind this is that for anyone who has ever spent any amount of time working in a restaurant  has wanted to use that phase when dealing with customers, vendors, co-workers, bosses, etc. Imagine the pure delight in your voice every time the phone rings and you get to say, "Good Afternoon, Stick It". Or when you are responding to complaint letter you could sign off with "Sincerely, Stick-It".

Seriously, who is the brainiac behind these ideas

Atmosphere

Music: Styxx (duh) and Decor: Classy State Fair

The Menu

Nothing is off limits and I will be stealing most of my menu ideas from Midwestern Fairs. For example, the Iowa State Fair alone is offering 53 items served on a stick. Some of my personal favorites are the Cornbrat (corn dog made with a Bratwurst), the Octodog (a octopus shaped hot dog) and Rock Candy on a stick.

"Spooky on a stick" is more like it

Beverages
Popsicles. For water service at the table, ice cubes on a stick.

The Profits

In the restaurant business your two biggest costs are Labor and Food Cost. With "Stick Its" menu, I think I can successfully avoid the pit falls that most restaurants encounter when they design their menu around high quality expensive food. People eat anything (even re-purposed food) if it is on a stick. That is how you offer profit friendly foods. Case in point, Fried Butter on a Stick at the Iowa State Fair.

Pre-fried butter, a gluten free option?

 

But here is where my empire really takes off, we all know that the profits are in the alcohol. I present you my beverages on stick themed nightclub, called "Suck It".  Be warned, once this takes off...... and it will, if I see you on the street I will act like I don't know you.......I will be that important.

Heaven?

Via Facebook I have seen that many of you have returned or are on your summer vacation. Keep those pictures of exciting and exotic locales coming. Keep posting pictures of you and your loved one in first class as you jet off to Hawaii. Don't forget to post, "I love my life!" beneath it. Keep showing views from your hotel room, your brunch buffet, snorkeling, a Parisian Street Cafe, and an ocean sunrise.

We are all living vicariously through you!

We too, just returned from our trip, from the land of sweet corn, fanny packs, inexplicable kindness, pies, open spaces, limited cell phone/Internet reception, Hawkeyes, and positive attitudes. Were we in heaven? No, Iowa. Sit back and enjoy this photographic journey of our summer vacation.

Rubes Steakhouse
Where you cook your own steak.

Check out the Texas Toast in the background!

The Purple Cherry 

This "create your own yogurt sundae shop and pay by the pound"  is a new addition to Marshalltown. These are fairly common in California but this place had a least 3x more toppings and 3x less attitude. I'm not sure if streamers and balloons are always on display but it was quite festive and very busy. The decor was trendy and modern and almost made you forget you were eating 3.4 lbs of yogurt (thank-you, Reece's Peanut Butter toppings).

Charming!

The Pork Tenderloin

A breaded piece of pork the size of tractor tire? Yes, and I'll take fries with that. If you haven't.....you must.

 

Hello, Sexy!

Zenos Pizza

Taco Pizza. That is all.

Very South of the Border-y!

 

Chocolate Cake with Butterscotch Frosting

This is not the best picture, but in the 5.4 seconds it took me get my camera phone open, this is what was left. It is that good.

Delish!

 

Taylor's Maid-Rite

Loose meat sandwich served at a counter. Taylor's recently underwent scrutiny with their cooking procedures...something about raw meat touching cooked meat....narcs.

Sanitary!

Bacon
    Iowans will put bacon on everything and they should and so should you.


You genius's at Perkins!



Dill Pickle Potato Chips
Stop what you are doing right now and go find these chips. Best. Chip. Ever.

Brilliance in a bag!

Beverages
The always refreshing soda (pronounced "pop").

First Class
Always treat yourself on vacation. Here we are riding the bus at LAX to Parking Lot C.



We are non-verbally saying, "We love our life!"



Start saving and exercising now for your next trip to Iowa!