Superstitious, Much?

As you may or may not know, Brock is a High School Lacrosse Coach.  Our spring was filled with practices, games, and this year, adherence to a demanding set of superstitions. The season started out pretty average with a 2-2 record, but then something magical happened and the team went on a 9 game winning streak. Now, sane most people would say that it was due to hard work, talented players and a good coaching staff. At our house, although we believed all those things to be true, we (by we, I mean Brock) also believed that the winning streak was helped along by the following superstitions. I have taken the liberty of giving you the pros and cons of each one as I think its important to fully understand how I feel about some of these things.

The Beard

Brock stopped shaving once the team started winning, thus a beard. As one parent asked, "he's not growing that thing out like some sort of dictator is he?". Thankfully, no, he kept it trimmed.

Pro: It wasn't a mustache

Con:The beard did become the 3rd person in the house. "The beard doesn't want to watch TMZ." "The beard wants to sleep in." " The beard doesn't feel like cleaning the garage". I despised that beard.

Keeping Stats

I happened to be at the stat table when the winning streak started and there I stayed.

Pro: It really is the best seat in the house.

Con: There are a lot of stats in Lacrosse, which I'm confident I captured about 35% of.

Khaki Pants

Brock believed that his khaki pants were instrumental in winning.

Pro: It's Khaki, what can go wrong.

Con: I have no proof of this but I think he also didn't wash them. Oh, khaki pants would appear in the laundry but when I saw him at the games the pants always had the same Gatorade/Meatball Sub/melted Power Bar design down the right pant leg.

Spaghetti Dinner

Brock believed that having the team over for spaghetti dinners was extending the winning streak, this one I believed in.

Pro: They really are a lovely group.

Con: We have a white couch.

Washing the Uniforms

There is someone at the school that washes all the uniforms after the games.....but he made a fatal mistake after the 3rd game....he forgot to wash them. In a panic Brock rushed them home and we washed them right before the first game in the winning streak.

Pros: I'm not sure what you are looking for here.

Cons: Lacrosse equipment/uniforms have a unique odor. Things I would rather smell than lacrosse equipment/uniforms: skunk, 2 skunks, a family of skunks. 

Sloppy Joe's

Have you experienced 3 or more of the following symptoms in the past month? Dizziness, blurred vision, increased sensitivity to light and/or dander, decreased appetite with the exception to Chicken McNuggets, increased intolerance to Ugg Boots, increased tolerance to fanny packs, hives, occasional limping, panting, or sudden growth spurt of 6 more inches?

If so, 1 of 2 things is probably happening. Either you have something severely wrong with you and, on the slight chance you are still reading this, you should probably stop and go seek medical attention or you miss my blog. If it's the later, I'm here to heal.

I took a break from the blog due to the fact that I got a part time job. Yes, the fun and games are over as I now work about 20-22 hours a week for a company that delivers healthy lunches to exclusive private schools. But don't worry about me, I'm yet to work a full week due to the many days private schools get off. I don't work weekends, summers, or any holiday and rarely work over 5.5 hours per week. Glamorous, no. Convenient, yes. Am a lunch lady? Kind of. Does it bother me? Not one bit. But as we all know the best thing about jobs are the ridiculous things co-workers, customers, and bosses say......and this job does not disappoint. Herewith, are my favorite quotes thus far.

You're a lovely ginger.

Co-worker

Yes!!!! Sloppy Joes for lunch!!!! They are my favorite!!!!! I always have my chef make them for me.

  3rd Grader

Can you draw a race car on my hand?

Kindergartner

You seem like the type of person that has a top hat.

Co-Worker (in his defense, I did lead him to believe I had one)

Can you draw a bow and arrow on my hand?

Kindergartner

I don't like the sushi my mom packed for me? Can I have what you brought?

1st Grader

Can you draw a lady bug, peace sign, heart and rainbow on my hand?

1st Grader

I'm pretty sure my mom order me the Beef Brisket and the Chocolate Covered Strawberries.

2nd Grader

What's Beef Brisket?

Same 2nd Grader

The Sloppy Joe is too sloppy.....I don't like that.

3rd Grader

Really, why are you applying?

Owners

(Blank Stare)

Me, on most days

12 Things I'll Never Say

You will never hear me say the following 12 things.

1. Do you have those Ugg boots in a size 7?
2. No thanks, I don't care to super size my meal.
3. I would never wear a fanny pack.
4. That's off the hook!
5. How much for front row seats to the Dave Matthews concert?
6. I would like to cancel my US Weekly subscription.
7. Is that chicken organic?
8. No, I do not want to pet/hold/play with your puppy.
9. Dear (insert name of hiring manager), I'm  excited to hear of an opening for a restaurant manager with your company..........
10. No, I'm sorry I can't make it tonight, I can't tear myself away from this Harry Potter book.
11. Can you turn that gangsta rap up.....a little more.....a little more.....
12. Did anyone catch "Kim and Kourtney Take New York" last night? That show was off the hook!

Bed Makin'



Not even close to his handy work

I make the bed everyday. Once every 6-8 weeks Brock makes the bed. Upon completion of said made bed, he often stands back to admire his work as if he had just painted the Mona Lisa. His quiet reflection on his handy work is usually met with a clearing of the throat that gradually gets louder the longer it goes unnoticed. Once I realize that he has accomplished a feat known to few, I immediately shower praises upon him with the same ferocity that I would had he just rushed me out of burning building or discovered a cure for cancer or invented the first ever stylish fanny pack. Yesterday he made the bed.........

Me: Hey, thanks for making the bed.

Brock: No big deal, its what a bring to the table.

Me: Making the bed is what you bring to the table?

Brock: Yes, along with other things.

Me: Such as...

Brock: Good conversation.

Me: And.....

Brock: Aggressive hugging.

Me: Well, I'm one lucky lady.

Brock: You got that right.

He's been threatening to cook and/or do the dishes, to be safe I'm going to go ahead and submit his application for Sainthood.